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What the schools aren’t telling you when they say your child is “FINE”
If you have a smart kid that struggles and you have been told by the “experts” that your child is “fine”, then you have been hit with what I call the “F Bomb”. The emotional explosion that occurs when a parent is left with the word “fine”, paired with their gut instinct that says, there is something more going on.
Here is an example of a conversation that I have with parents all of the time.
“I Know that my child is smart, but no matter how hard he works, or tries, things just don’t seem to stick. Homework takes longer than it should and we spend most evenings fighting with him to get it done. His teacher knows that there is something not right, but she doesn’t know what to do or how to help. When wwe hadhim tested they said that he didn’t qualify and that he is “fine”. But he is still struggling. He tells me he feels stupid and doesn't want to go to school. Every year, I think it will get better but it isn’t and he is losing confidence. Help! I don’t know what to do.
If this sounds familiar then you too have been bombed.
Shame, blame, Fear, Anger, Worry, Helplessness, and Grief, have exploded through your mind, and the aftermath, sucks the joy right out of you.
The good news is that there is a way to detonate the bomb before it explodes and wreaks havoc on your child. There is also a way to clean up the shrapnel that has been thrown at you since the explosion.
First, let me explain why you were told that your child is fine, even when they continue to struggle.
The school systems use standardized measurements and a rubrik determine if a student qualifies or doesn’t qualify to receive a diagnosis or services. These scores are not used to determine a problem.
If there was not a problem, your child would not have been tested. Second, when you have a child with average Intelligence (An IQ between 90 and 110 is considered average) but struggles, there is usually an imbalance in their cognitive skills and that imbalance is causing a struggle.
Think of two kids on a seesaw. The heaviest kid goes down, while the lighter kid goes up and they have to work to keep it balanced. We all have strengths and weaknesses but kids who struggle typically have really high highs and really low lows.
By that I mean, a student can be very strong in specific areas and may be very weak in others. For example, your child may be great in math, but struggle to read.
Third is miscommunication or misunderstanding of how a “diagnosis” is made. Let me ask you something: Are looking for a diagnosis or a solution?
Did you know that just because your child doesn’t qualify for services, does not mean that they are not delayed in a particular area and would benefit from extra help? It just means that they don’t qualify to receive it from that system.
A school system has a specific way that they “qualify or diagnose” students. If your child doesn’t have a check beside each qualifier then they are not diagnosed.
The problem is also not being solved and your child is labeled, “fine”, and you are left with more questions than you did when this whole process started.
Do you need answers? Here is an easy way to break free of “FINE” and find a solution to stop the struggle:
- Book a consultation to review your child’s testing. I will analyze your child’s cognitive skills and help you better understand the WHY behind the struggle.
- Get tested. If your child has never been tested but you know they are struggling, then I will evaluate to determine his/her cognitive strengths and weaknesses and tell you WHY they are struggling.
- Get a plan. Following the evaluation, you will get a step by step guide on how to turn the four letter word, ‘FINE” into the eight letter word, “FABULOUS” and stop the struggle.
Are you ready? Click the button below to book a free 10-minute consultation today and let’s get started.